Teenagers Today's Health Advisory Panel Answers: What should I do with my teen son who is obsessed with his girlfriend? I fear he is violent toward her.

By Chris Crutcher Author Licensed Child and Family Therapist

Question:

What should I do with my teen son who is obsessed with his girlfriend? I fear he is violent toward her.

Answer:

If he is being violent with her, he needs help and he needs it quick. If you know it for certain, seek professional help. That's one of those things that only gets worse unless there is significant and swift intervention.

It's one thing to be obsessed and have to work through those powerful feelings (and he'll have to work through a lot of them because he'll lose a lot of girlfriends), but it's quite another to take it to a level of violence or coercion. If you offer therapeutic help and he refuses, get in touch with the girl's parents and see if there is help from that side. Try to determine whether or not she is being hurt and get their perceptions on it.

There is a lot I don't know here. This kind of obsession comes from somewhere. I'm guessing you have SOME ideas where that is. Good luck, and make sure you act. This doesn't only destroy the life of the person getting hurt, it destroys the life of the person doing the hurting.