Teenagers Today's Health Advisory Panel Answers: Do parents have the right to search their child's bedroom?

By Chris Crutcher Author Licensed Child and Family Therapist

Question:

Do parents have the right to search their child's bedroom? Is this considered a typical parental responsibility? How do I avoid ruining my relationship with my child if I snoop?

Answer:

It depends on why you're searching. If you have good reason to believe the child is on drugs, and I'm not talking about an irrational fear here, you may have to go to that end. There are probably a few other things that urgent, but make sure it's one of them.

Before you do that, you want to question and talk and voice concerns, and get it out of your head that you can get anywhere with lectures. If you do search the room and find something, tell on yourself immediately. If you search it and don't find something, tell on yourself immediately. You say what you were afraid of and that your fear led you to behavior that is hard to be proud of.

If we want kids to respect privacy, then we have to respect theirs. The only exception I can think of to that is when you absolutely believe their safety is in peril, and I would be unequivocal in telling any kid that I'd rather have them mad at me and safe, than happy with me and suffer permanent damage. In the end, we are parents. It is a fine line you are asking yourself to walk, so pay good attention.