Teenagers Today's Health Advisory Panel Answers: How can I stop my 15-year-old son from cutting himself?

By Chris Crutcher Author Licensed Child and Family Therapist

Question:

My daughter told me last night that my 15-year-old son had been cutting himself. I talked with him about it. He said it was last summer and he was bored. When he's involved in sports during school (football, basketball, track), he's OK. I asked him if he would promise me that he wouldn't do it again, and he wouldn't promise me. He said he likes the feeling. Naturally I'm very concerned! Do you know of a counselor/group in my area who has expertise in this issue? I live in the Santa Cruz/Monterey area of California.

Answer:

I don't know anyone in your area that has that expertise, though I'm sure there are several. Until that time, you don't want to get into any power struggles about it. If he can't promise, he can't promise. I don't know about your son, but generally cutting behavior reduces anxiety. I had a client say to me one time, "It's pain I can control." A number of clients I've worked with had had group home people search their belongings for sharp objects, etc., and the kids would just get better at hiding them.

It's always a mistake to drive feelings and behavior underground. It's another of those situations where you want the communication lines completely open. The less you fear the situation (and the better he senses you don't fear it), the better your chance of getting him to talk. Hope that helps. Sorry I don't have resources for you down there.