Teenagers Today's Health Advisory Panel Answers: How can I get friends and relatives to accept that I don't want my son to drink alcohol?

by Mary Dailey Addictions Counselor

Question:

My brother (my son's uncle) gave my son a beer at a family gathering last week. I didn't find out until later, and I was horrified. They think I'm overreacting and say that it's OK as long as it's in moderation and that my son is supervised the whole time. My gut instinct says this isn't the case. What can I do to get them to see my point, over-protective though I may be? My son is 16.

Answer:

Your concern about your son is genuine. If a 16-year-old receives mixed messages from adults, he may decide that your message of non-use isn't the one he wants to listen to. The earlier children begin to drink, the more likely they will develop difficulties.

Can you talk with your brother and tell him that abstinence by your son is important to you, that you are following the law about underage drinking and that you hope he will not undermine your efforts to help your son make good decisions.

I don't think you are being overprotective -- just cautious. Teens have plenty of opportunities to experiment with alcohol and other drugs in their peer groups and don't need help from family to begin experimenting or drinking.